Why Directions Sometimes Fail

 I am a devotee of zodiacal primary directions to angles equated to time with the Placidian True Solar Arc in RA measure (the MC is moved in Right Ascension – both forward and conversely – at the same rate that the progressed sun is moving in RA. The Ascendant is dragged along at the same rate in Oblique Ascension).  I’ve always found these directions to be pretty accurate, particularly the conjunctions, and therefore I’ve always been puzzled about why the converse direction of Neptune to my Ascendant in the fall of 1980 produced no event whatever.

 About the only thing that was happening in my life then was that I was eleven years into an unhappy marriage which was progressively deteriorating (and would end nine years later), and I had a three-year-old son.  Then an extremely attractive – Leo rising – single, hard-working and dedicated Scorpio woman, whose natal moon precisely conjoined my natal sun, moved into town.

 Looking back it’s kind of funny:  my wife met her before I did and (being very psychic) immediately picked up the vibe – meeting this woman really raised her hackles. Anyway, from the beginning this woman and I were super turned-on by each other.  She came onto me big-time and made little effort to conceal her feelings.  I was torn to pieces, since although I would readily have dumped my wife in a second – even if this woman hadn’t appeared – I couldn’t justify to myself abandoning my son. It got so bad that I purposely avoided this woman whenever I could because being in her presence forced me to stifle impulses that were raging out of control.  I have never had to clamp down upon myself so hard in all my life. Eventually, a few months later, she moved away and that was that.  The marriage continued downhill, two more kids were born, and in the end we split up.

 So, not much of an event that I can point to happened at that time to correspond to the Neptune direction to my Ascendant. But my spirit guides have told me that there is another probably reality (a “parallel reality” which branches off from this one whenever we make a decision) in which I did abandon my son and leave with this woman. According to my guides, we are not unitary beings who live our lives in linear sequence, but rather infinitely ramified “waves” who can only remember one single line of personal history at a time.  Thus to them this probable reality, in which I stayed with my wife and son, is no more nor less real than the probable reality in which I left with the other woman. And the birth horoscope is an indicator of all possible probable realities:  the chart of  the “me” who stayed with my wife is the same as the chart of the “me” who left with the other woman. So, if this is true, then at least the Neptune conjunct Ascendant direction worked in the probable reality in which I left (if not in this one, in which I stayed).

 Then just today I was channeling to ask the question of whether I’d made the right decision in staying with my wife, since the thing fell apart in the end anyway. And this is what my guides told me:  “It wouldn’t have mattered. That’s something you still haven’t figured out – that there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’; all there are, are different decisions, different lessons to learn, none of which ultimately matter in the least. That was a great sacrifice you made for your son (which he’ll never understand or appreciate), but which definitely made you a far more selfless person – hence a better father and husband, and a more spiritual person. You lost a lot of selfishness on that one. And, if you’d left with K., it wouldn’t have been any bed of roses either. That’s what the Neptune conjunct Ascendant – which you’ve never understood – means.  In some probable realities you left with K. In this one you made a tremendous sacrifice for the sake of another person, which put you squarely on the spiritual path.  Or another way of putting it is:  splitting with K. may or may not have destroyed your chances for spiritual advancement, just as leaving the ranch (a job I hated but which I sensed was a spiritual test), or leaving during the guerrilla war (another test: a situation in which I never knew from one day to the next who would show up to kill me, but which my guidance told me to stick out), might or might not have destroyed your spiritual aspirations.  But sticking it out with your marriage – honoring the commitment you had made to your son (and wife) – definitely moved you forward on the spiritual path. Shirking your responsibilities and taking the easy way out would have left you right where you were. And that’s what Neptune conjunct Ascendant meant.”

 The moral of all this is, that sometimes directions which we think have failed worked after all; it’s just a matter of how you look at it.

Bob Makransky’s Astrology Corner © 2001

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